Break Room Follies
by Jendeh
Summary: My response to a fanfic challenge -- Grissom is a busy man. He gives us the answer to a question which has been on all of our minds at least once and makes Greg cry like a baby but not before he gets kicked in the head. RR!


**Title:** Break Room Follies

**Rating:** PG

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. I am so broke I can't even afford a "yo mama" joke.

**This is my response to a fanfic challenge posted by Mossley on the Unbound forums. The rules ask that the writer use the first and last given lines and that the story remain under 1000 words.**

"So, how much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?" Brass asked.

Grissom groaned loudly. "Brass are you trying to be funny?"

"You said, 'Ask me something I don't know'. Can you answer it?"

Grissom contemplated the question. "Well a woodchuck is a burrowing rodent more commonly known as a groundhog, or less commonly known as a whistle pig. Of course, a woodchuck cannot chuck wood but we are working under the assumption that if a woodchuck could chuck wood then how much would he be able to chuck." Grissom paused as if deep in thought. "I read an article once on this topic. It is believed that a woodchuck can chuck about 35 cubic feet of dirt in the process of digging a burrow. It was reasoned in the article that if a woodchuck could chuck wood then he would be able to chuck an amount approximately equal to seven hundred pounds."

Brass stared at his friend blankly. "Your kidding me right?"

"No. That is the working theory."

Brass sighed. "I bet you got a lot of wedgies when you were in school huh?"

"That was a long time ago. I wouldn't remember," Grissom replied indignantly.

Brass chuckled. "I'll take that as a yes."

Grissom frowned. "Where is Greg at? He has been gone at least five minutes now."

"He is probably having a hard time finding it."

"I told him exactly where it was. He never seems to listen."

Brass stood up and stuck his head out into the hallway. A racing Greg slammed into him and they both tumbled over onto the floor. Grissom rolled his eyes and walked over to help the two men up. He didn't see the small cooler Greg had set on the floor though, and tripped on it before he reached them. Grissom began to collapse forward and he reached out his hands to try and cushion the fall. One hand landed against Brass' stomach causing a painful gasp to escape the man. The other hand landed square on Greg's groin area which caused shouts of agony to erupt from the younger man's throat. When Greg tried to pull away from the two men he accidentally kicked Grissom in the head.

"Hey what is going on in here! Why is Greg crying? What happened to Grissom?" Sara announced from the doorway. 

Brass looked up at her meekly. "We were going to watch a video that Grissom brought for lunch. Greg went to get it from his office and things went badly from there."

Sara rolled her eyes as she went to the counter and pulled out two zip lock bags which she filled with ice. The first she plopped on Greg's lap which he took gratefully. The second she handed to Grissom. Then she picked up the video that lay on the floor between them and set it in the VCR. 

"See boys its not all that difficult. I'll leave you all to practice your Three Stooges impersonations now." 

Brass chuckled as he watched Sara stroll out of the break room. "She is a fire cracker that one. How did she know? That tape wasn't even marked."

Grissom shrugged. "Coincidence I suppose. Greg stop whining," he said sternly.

Greg lay in a fetal position on the floor holding the ice pack to his groin. "It hurts," he whimpered pitifully.

Grissom hit play on the VCR before taking a seat. The first episode of a Three Stooges marathon that he had taped began. He leaned his head against the wall and tried to fight the headache he felt coming on as he placed the ice pack Sara had made for him gingerly against his forehead.

Nick and Warrick walked into the break room smiling.

"Oh hey! One of you must have taped the marathon!" Nick exclaimed.

"Why is Greg lying on the floor like that?" Warrick asked.

Brass chuckled. "Grissom finally got fed up with him and punched him where it counts. Greg didn't like that so he kicked Grissom in the head."

Warrick and Nick took another look at Greg, then at Grissom and finally at each other. They both shrugged and seemed to agree with Brass' explanation of the events. Both men grabbed their lunches and joined the others at the table. It only took Nick two minutes before he started doing his best Curly impressions to amuse them all.

"Nick if you don't cut that out I will give you the same treatment I gave Greg," Grissom threatened. Nick nodded sheepishly and managed to stay quiet after that. Grissom hoped he wouldn't have too many more lunches like this one. He winced as he put the ice pack against his head.

**The End**


End file.
